She Hates Me
by Cantharis
Summary: Songfic to She Hates Me; Harry dumps Cho, who gets revenge in the worst possible way. Featuring Evil!Cho, Slut!Pansy, and Horny!Draco


She Hates Me: by Cantharis

****

Met a girl, thought she was grand 

For an entire year, Cho Chang and I dated. We were the Golden Couple, the perfect duo, a pair of attractive Seekers that everyone wanted to be around and talk about. Not a day went by that we didn't fill the gossips with our romantic tale: the Boy Who Last Saw Diggory Alive asks out Diggory's ex, and they become the hottest thing since a certain blonde Slytherin came out of the closet. As for my view of Cho, I suppose I was blind to her faults. She was everything I wanted, if not needed; sweet, caring, and quiet. She knew when to shut her mouth, and when to kiss away my nightmares.

****

Fell in love, found out first hand

I don't think I really loved her like a man loves his wife...I loved her the way a scared young boy loves his first girlfriend. She was there, and I was there, that's just the way it was. I got a lot of crap from the guys in my dorm. Seamus and Dean sniggered lewdly whenever I held her hand, bending to whisper dirty jokes in each other's ears, while Ron simply grinned at me knowingly, as if he were so much more advanced than I. He was, but that's besides the point.

****

Went well for a week or two

Then it all came unglued

Our first seven months were nice and quiet. We were there for each other when we were needed, but we never went out of our way to make the other happy. It was her last month of school that blew things apart. She started acting really distant to me, staring coldly when she thought I wasn't looking, and turning her lips away from me whenever I leaned in for a quick kiss. The gossips saw it all, of course (stupid Ravenclaws from Hell), and our troubles were fare for everyone. I lost count of how many times large trollish girls would barrage me in the hallway and give me advice on how to 'spice up my love life'. As if I had one to begin with.

In a trap, trip I can't grip

Then the booby traps began. Cho, apparently, hired a devious group of Slytherins to try to trick me into cheating on her. What the point of that was, I'll never know. Maybe she thought I was a man whore or something.

****

Never thought I 'd be the one who'd slip

On the first day of the trials I wasn't supposed to know about (Hermione had informed me of Cho's plan earlier, after she overheard the Ravenclaw girl plotting with Millicent Bulstrode), I was assaulted by Pansy Parkinson in all of her slutty glory. To say that it was disgusting would be an understatement...let's just leave it at:

"Pansy Parkinson, you have until the count of three to get your filthy hands off my belt buckle!!!!"

"Till the count of three?" she asked, pouting with lips all together too large for her face. I nodded darkly, my face turning the nasty red color of a brick with seasickness. She smirked. "I can do a surprising amount in such a short time frame, you know." I almost lost my lunch as the slovenly girl pushed her breasts into my face (I curse the fact that I was short enough for her to take advantage of me). "Oh, Harry, I've wanted you for so long..."

The next day she was in the hospital wing nursing a broken nose. I don't like to hit girls, I really don't, but you just don't stick your hands down a taken man's pants in the middle of the Great Hall! She asked for it, no matter how long I have to suffer detention for knocking out a girl.

****

Then I started to realize

I was living one big lie

Of course, after that I had to reevaluate my relationship with the girl I had been dating for almost a year. You could say that I was a little angry, and very creeped out. What kind of girl _does_ that to a guy? Did she think this was some kind of reality show? The least she could have done was try to trap me with a _hot_ girl!

So I dumped her.

And she sought revenge in the worst way possible.

****

She f*ckin hates me

Trust

She f*ckin hates me

La la la la

"Hey Harry! Hey! Potter! Are you really-"

"Is what they're saying true?"

"It's all over the newspaper!"

"I can't believe you're-"

"Oh my God, Harry Potter's-"

"He's what?!"

"That's what I heard!"

"Yeah, that's why he dumped Cho-"

"That poor girl-"

"I still can't believe it-"

"Who would have guessed?"

"No way!"

"Shh! Here he comes!"

I remember that day clearly. Perfect, pure silence from every corner of the Great Hall, every head turned to stare at me. Not a single sound, not a single movement...

"Harry!" Ron rushed over to me, anger and pain written clearly across his face. In one hand he clutched at an extremely battered looking newspaper. I stared at him for a moment, noticing that even the teachers were riveted on us. For a split second I was worried that Privet Drive had been attacked, then realized that Ron wouldn't look so pissed at me if that were the case.

"Why didn't you tell us?" he asked in a dangerous whisper. A ripple went through the student body, and a few Slytherins grinned excitedly.

"Tell you what, exactly?" Cho Chang turned around in her seat to shoot me a triumphant smile, which confused me greatly. Ron shook with anger.

"Don't play dumb with me!" his voice cracked. I gave him a puzzled glance, and he threw the paper at my face with the force of an exploding bomb. _"THAT!!"_ he screeched loudly, causing dust to fall from the rafters. In fear I picked up the paper, and cautiously read the headline:

"Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived..._An Alternative Lifestyle?"_

****

I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none

My head shot up in shock.

****

And ripped them away

"You don't believe this, do you Ron?" He stared at me suspiciously. "I would never lie to you, you know that." His gaze softened. He knew well that stories often were messed up, especially if I was involved. 

For a second it looked as though I had him convinced, when Pansy stood up and screeched in her nasal voice, "It's true!" All heads turned to her, eager for something juicy. Pansy, noticing this, fixed her boobs and pouted in a way she probably thought appealing, before continuing in a somewhat hurt tone. 

"Why, it was just a few days ago that I tried to seduce him." She hung her head in mock embarrassment. "I know it was wrong, since he was taken, but there had been rumors, and I wondered..." she trailed off, looking at nothing. Everyone stared at her, waiting for her to continue, but she was lost in thought. The entire student body sat on the edges of their chairs, coughing to get her attention. Finally, she was jolted back into reality.

"I tried to kiss him, but he pushed me away." She sniffed. "He said I wasn't his type."

I looked around at the people who were now gazing upon me in amazement. Why hadn't I noticed that the entire male population found Pansy attractive?

She smirked down at me. "Then he said that he had his eye on a _different_ Slytherin." Her eyes flicked down her table and everyone struggled to see who she looked at, but she plowed through doggedly. 

"That's right folks, Harry Potter, hero of the wizarding world, confided in me that he has a crush on the pale, blonde son of a Death Eater!" She frowned in mock puzzlement. "Gee, wonder who that could be?" 

Everyone laughed, except Draco Malfoy, who's head shot up at the blatant reference to himself. He caught my gaze and looked upon me sadly. He knew I was doomed. 

Pansy shrieked, "See, even now he stares at the object of his affection!!"

****

She was queen for about an hour

Left her then sh*t got sour

She took all I ever had

No sign of guilt, no feeling of bad

The Hall was full of ringing, vicious laughter, as I stumbled backwards into a crowd of Hufflepuffs. Had I not been ready to tear from the Hall I might have found it funny that one of them called me a fag. A _Hufflepuff._

Suddenly it all came crashing down on my head; the sniggers, Cho's smug smiling, Malfoy's sympathetic faces as he sat secluded from the rest of the Slytherins, the fact that none of the teachers were coming to my rescue...I had to get out of there.

So I ran.

****

In a trap, trip I can't grip

Never thought I'd be the one to slip

It was later that night that I slipped into the broken girl's bathroom, contemplating whether or not to attempt a trip down to the Chamber. Whenever things got too tough to handle, that's where I went to calm down. I sat down by the entrance sink and buried my face in my hands. I wouldn't let myself cry, because the Heir of Gryffindor doesn't cry, he just saves everyone's life and is surprised when they want him to fail. In my misery, I never heard the footsteps. Someone put their hand on my shoulder.

"Chin up, Potter, things could be worse."

****

Then I started to realize

I looked up into Draco Malfoy's face and was shocked and...pleased to see him smiling at me.

****

I was living one big lie

Suddenly I was aware of the fact that he was touching me, even after the accusations. "Malfoy, I don't like you that way; Pansy and Cho must have planned this whole thing. I'm not gay."

His face fell perceptibly. "Not even bi?" he asked hopefully. I stared stony faced at him.

"No." He shrugged, seemingly nonchalant, and in one fluid motion was seated beside me. I backed away from him. Seeing this, he laughed loudly. I was struck by how different a smile made him look. His face lost the dark sharpness I had grown to despise, and was pleasant, and even handsome. In a way. Not that I was looking. Because I didn't care. He tilted his head towards mine, his glittering eyes visible through the fringe of white blonde hair.

"I'm not going to rape you, you know," he whispered merrily. "Just because I like men, and you're a gorgeous one who was just outed publicly, doesn't mean I want you so bad that I _dream_ of you every night." I cringed, though on the inside I was actually kind of...disgusted, I was disgusted, that's right. Ew. Malfoy. Gross.

She f*ckin hates me, trust

She f*ckin hates me

la la la la

Dra- Malfoy absentmindedly picked at a lose thread on his jumper. Looking for something to say, I jumped on him (not literally of course, I'm _not_ gay).

"All the riches in the world and you wear a tattered jumper?" I meant to sound conversational, but it came out a little nastier than I wanted. He smirked at me, as if he knew me better than I did.

"I'd hardly call this sweater tattered; it's one little thread." He resumed playing with it. "Besides," he said somewhat sadly, "I'm not rich anymore. My father disowned me."

I stared at him in shock. "Why?" Malfoy gave me a look that clearly told me I was an idiot. I blushed. "Oh, yeah, the whole gay thing." I shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

Malfoy sighed. "Well, not all the world can be as noble as you Harry. The whole 'gay thing', as you so eloquently put it, aggravates Lucius to no end." He smiled evilly. "He's too old to have another son, so he's not going to have an heir. The Malfoys are going to die out."

Inside my head, I was thanking God that no spawn of Lucius Malfoy would ever be part of my world, before I realized that his son was my archenemy, duh. But something about what Malfoy said was bothering me...

****

I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none

And ripped them away

"Wait. Did you just call me Harry?" Malfoy shifted so that his body was turned towards me, and I noticed much to my chagrin that my cheeks turned pink.

"That is your name, is it not?" He smiled at me lazily and my blush deepened. "And while we're on the subject of names, would you mind using mine from now on? Last names are way too impersonal." The entire time he was talking, he was inching forward almost imperceptibly, so that he finished a few inches from my ear. I leapt back.

"Malfoy-" he coughed loudly and pouted (rather prettily I must sa- _what am I saying?!_)_. _"Draco, I think you have the right, I men, I mean-" I struggled to say what was on the tip of my tongue, but for some reason it wouldn't come out. "I _mean_...I think you have the _wrong_ idea. I'm gay- I mean, I'm _not_ gay! I mean-"

"Harry, shut up." the space between us disappeared and Draco's mouth was suddenly on top of mine. I braced myself for the attack of the hormonal homo's tongue, but was pleasantly surprised at his light, feathery touch. And of course, by pleasantly surprised I mean absolutely disgusted.

Draco sat back slowly, smiling at me in a rather tender fashion. For a moment I couldn't breath. I held back the urge to clutch at my heart, which was racing way too fast for a straight guy who had just been kissed by his worst enemy.

Damn it Cho; look at what you've done.

****

That's my story, as you see

Learned my lesson and so did she

"Uh...Draco?" The pale boy nodded at me to show he was listening. " I don't think-"

He looked at me, slightly irritated. A frown creased his handsome face (handsome?!). "Harry, don't make me shut you up again." He grinned lewdly. "Not that I wouldn't enjoy it immensely."

Hesitantly I returned the smile. "Actually, I was going to say-"

"I warned you."

And then I was being kissed again, for the second time with another male.

This time Draco was a little rougher, struggling to completely cover my mouth with his own. His lips were soft and warmer than I ever thought they would be, tasting faintly of cinnamon. Without a consideration for what I was doing, I responded eagerly, even going so far as to flick at his lips with my tongue.

He broke away in utter surprise. It took me a second to realize that his hands were entwined in my hair, still twirling absently at the jet locks. I could feel his breath on my cheek, hot and urgent. I forgot that he was my enemy of countless years. I remembered nothing except the fact that he had the most amazing eyes, the most amazing kiss.

I regretted telling Cho that I loved her.

****

Now it's over, and I'm glad

For I'm a fool, for all I've said

I stared at the pale boy who had found his way into my arms, and felt myself falling. "Dammit Dray, " I whispered at him. 

I fell forward, into his lips.

And Pansy and Cho walked in.

****

She hates me, trust, 

She f*ckin hates me

Lalalala

I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none

And ripped them away

The two girls looked at each other, shock clear and evident on their faces. Cho stood, frozen; Pansy had strength for only one strangled whisper:

"Wow, we're getting good."


End file.
